March: The Worst Month Ever and How I Almost Ended Up in Jail

March. March March March. Waaaas the bane of my existence. Which explains why as I was looking through my pictures to make this blog post, I only found two pictures from the entire month (which I will proudly display). Whoops! Let's recap.

1. SO, I decided late in February that I was going to take the LPN test so I could make a little more money and get a little better experience before I get my RN license in December. So I'm sending out resumes like crazy, trying to see what the LPN job market is like whilst I study for the exam, assuming that I wouldn't possibly get an offer before I could pass the test. Fortunately and unfortunately, I was wrong. I got a random interview for a position that I assumed I wouldn't qualify for since I didn't even have my test scheduled yet technically, but I thought I may as well get some interviewing experience in the meantime. Turns out I got the job. So... I found myself with an LPN job with no LPN license. (In my defense, I told them I hadn't passed the test yet.) As great as that was, it meant I had to speed up my study schedule by at least double to pass the test as soon as possible. I ate, drank, and slept LPN study materials while still trying to juggle my normal school assignments. It was DEATH! I stayed up til the wee hours of the morning every single night for 3 weeks straight, and then woke up in the still wee hours of the morning to keep going. I went through over 2,000 practice questions and read three entire text books. FINALLY, I took the darn thing and luckily passed. Yay. But meanwhile....

2. This great job offer that pays really well, would be great experience, is flexible with my school schedule, etc etc is on the line, and they need a background check. No big deal, right? One would think that, but one would be wrong. So I go get my background check for them on Friday. Wellllll Sunday comes along and Nelson and I decide to take a leisurely stroll to our mailbox to see what new wedding announcement and utilities bills are bound to be waiting for us. Nelson gets the letters out and gets a funny look on his face. Turns out I have a strange letter from the government... perhaps it has to do with taxes? NOPE. What else could it be but a WARRANT out for my ARREST with NOOO explanation of what in the world it was about! I was freeeeaking out! Not only was there a warrant out for my arrest, but this job was on the line. Worst timing EVER. I was about to fail my background check AND not have a license yet... not good for business. Plus, it was on a weekend so we had to wait until MONDAY to call and find out what it was for. Turns out it was over a car accident I got in THREE years ago! (I rear ended someone in my mom's minivan a week before my mission... whoops.) So I guess my insurance company never sent them the right paperwork, and noooo one ever thought it would be a good idea to TELL ME THAT. WHAT THE HECK PROVO. No, no, you're right. IT'S A MUCH BETTER IDEA TO TELL ME EVERYTHING IS TAKEN CARE OF, THEN IGNORE IT FOR THREE YEARS, AND THEN ARREST ME. Yeahhhhh. I spent my entire Monday going back and forth between Provo courts and insurance companies and other stupid stupid things. Don't worry about it Provo, it's not like I had a million tests coming up on top of my LPN test that I had to study on overtime for. I toootally had PLNETY of time and energy and mental capacity to deal with this. BAH. In the end everything worked out, but it was probably the most stressful week of 2011 (thus far at least...). So, in honor of how AWESOME Provo is, we decided to frame my arrest warrant and hang it up in our room next to Nelson's diploma. I think it looks classy, don't you?

Well, there is much much more about March to complain about, like the fact that they held our state tax refund back as bail and didn't give it back for two months and when they did finally give it back they mailed it to the wrong address even though they seemed to know our address perfectly well when they wanted to ARREST me and I had to go to some random person's BYU apartment and ask if they had a letter from the government for Lauren Hillam OR the fact that I had 5 MAJOR tests in two weeks for school while all the rest of this was going on, BUT... I can be done being a Debbie Downer for now I suppose. Luckily, I have the best husband in the world who was amazing and supportive and made me dinner every night and let our apartment get dirty without complaining. Thanks, Nels.

There was ONE saving grace in March's defense: my bestest buddy Tiffany came to Utah for a wedding and I got to spend an entire weekend reminiscing about the good ole' days, eating BBQ, shopping at the outlets, and swooning over her adorable child. And that is my one, single legitimate picture for the whole month. Touche.

(Nelson and I, Tiff and her hubs Danny and their cute daughter Ava. Yay for old friends!)

Goodbye, March.